Have you watched the movie, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? Believe it or not, I am one such basket case. My memory is like a flashing lightbulb that is more off than on. I'm forgetting the people that I met the day before. That is normal, right? However, I am now forgetting people that I have spent weeks, months, and even years with, i.e., old friends, classmates, and relatives. I am forgetting the things that occured in my life, despite whether it matters or not.

I had suffer a head injury halfway though high school when I was wrestling my friend. He tripped on me and we both fell, but my head landed on a brick. I was rushed to the emergency room and survived and recovered.

Last month, for the reason why I was not blogging so much...

On the highway, I had entered into a car accident as a passenger of my Aunt's car. The driver of a rapid moving car didn't know that the lanes were merging, so hastily he swerved right in front of my Aunt. Just before he collided with the car in front of him, he hit the brakes real hard. My Aunt, that was not so quick to respond, plowed into him with her car.

My Aunt's airbag opened, and she safely escaped the accident. However, my head smashed into the dashboard. The paramedics pried the door open and rushed me once again to the hospital. The damage left an open wound, where my scalp clung a little backwards. The hospital had 35 stitches, a few staples, and some incisions done. It was more endurable compared to the recovery which was horrific. I was bound to my bed, meds, and vicodin. I remember at one point I lost my pain killers. I laid in bed weeping in pain, until someone had found them for me. I now have a scar now across my forehead, but luckily my hair that had been removed is growing over it. The top of my head is still paralyzed though. The doctor said the the sensation could come back in a month, year, or never.

Throughout this ordeal, I figured out this much about my situtation. The future isn't guranteed. Who would have thought my craving for sushi would lead me down that route. In addition, my mind is being erased like footprints in sifting sand. So, there goes my past. But however, it leads me to appreciate more of the present. The future and past matters, but not so much that one forgets living in the moment.

Do You Live In The Present? How So?